Don't Spend Another Year Doing the Same Shit

As I sit here on New Year's Eve watching football, listening to people already setting off fireworks, and reflecting back on 2023, I remember seeing the quote, "Don't spend another year doing the same shit." Sadly, I forget where I saw it, but it resonated because it is so true! It reminds me of the much-used saying, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results." 

Each year, I naively say that the next year can't be any worse than the last... Yet, the world's forces prove me wrong each year. It is usually a different type of event(s) that occurs to turn my life upside down, but it never fails to do so. 

• 2021: My son and I move out independently after separating from my third (yes, third) husband. My then 17-year-old son admitted to seriously wanting to die by suicide and was having severe bouts of depression and anxiety. 

• 2022: My son was still struggling with his mental health, eventually had a complete mental breakdown, and was admitted to an in-patient facility for a week. My daughter broke up with her live-in boyfriend of three years after she found out he was using heroin. After getting my son on his path of recovery, I struggled with my own suicidal ideation crisis, plus I started a new job at a non-profit. In October, the non-profit depleted its funds, and I was then working for no pay.

• 2023: I reinjured my knee and would likely need a 3rd surgery to get it straight. I still hadn't been paid since October, which continued until February. I had finally found a new job that I did not like. I was let go for unknown reasons (seriously, relieved effective immediately and was told they did not legally have to tell me why I was let go - such bullshit) at the end of September. Funny enough, the non-profit I worked for previously had been awarded grant funds, so I went back to work for the non-profit - which I love and truly believe in its mission. I was scheduled for knee surgery in October, but because I lost my job, I lost my insurance and had to cancel the surgery. 

The above is just a short synopsis of what happened in the past few years. Good times, right?? Needless to say, I will not continue to do the same thing, and I expect a different outcome. I will walk into 2024 with a positive attitude and say it will be a kickass year!! 2024's theme will be don't spend another year doing the same shit! 

Even with my knee aching, not much savings, and working for a non-profit that may run out of funds again very soon - I have tools to support my mental health, friends and family who love me, a job I love, and my kids are doing well. So, yes, I am going into the new year with a positive attitude for a change. 

Happy New Year to you all, and I look forward to hearing from you this year!